Good morning all.... I'm sitting here watching America's Next Top Model (a guilty pleasure) and enjoying my second cup of coffee and thinking that my last post was a bit intense. Since then, I've had fun helping a friend pack, and had a great weekend. I have made it through my pity party and have decided it's up to me to make my summer meaningful. I'm going to start a bible study I picked up this weekend, I figure I'm not using this time to grow closer with our Lord and that needs to be my first priority. I'm also going to kick up my work outs to two-a-days. I'm going to do my class in the morning and then go back right before Eric gets home and run for a good while. That's the plan... I'm also going to look into Region 12 to see what classes they are offering this summer (they might be filled up already but we'll see). That will help me stay in the teaching frame of mind, since Rogers doesn't really offer anything over the summer. I still need to go to Austin to clean out my old room... I might try to do that Thursday. So I am taking summer one week at a time, but I need to enjoy it and take advantage of this extra time I have.
Other than that life is good. Since it's been taking me longer to fall asleep at night I've had more time to really think about how blessed we really are. A friend of mine is going through some difficult guy problems and her heart is broken... As I tried to come up with words to comfort her, I thought about how thankful I was that the Lord protected both Eric and I. That we were so blessed to grow up with parents and churches that taught us to protect our hearts and bodies. I thought about our future children, and how I want to instill that in them.. How I want us to teach them and really show them how important that is ... that the Lord needs to be their first love. I get so chocked up when I think about all the things I want to teach our kids, how I want to show them the love and joy of the Lord. But then I think of the uncertainty of it, about my brother and how we grew up in the same home... and yet we are so different..... That's why trusting the Lord is so important!
Well goodness! I'm sorry for getting so... deep? Like I said, there's lots extra time to think things over. I'm going to go finish my yummy coffee and my show.
One last thing: I ask for y'alls prayers. It's been on my heart and mind that maybe I should write my brother. I haven't had any contact with him since about a month before the wedding. It hurts my heart when I think about him, but I still have so much anger. If I do write a letter, I want it to be spirit led, and not led by my emotions. (and if you know me at all, you know I'm an emotional person) I'm not ready to completely forgive, and trust him again. It will take alot of time and proof of change for that trust to return, if it ever does. But I hate thinking about how lonely he must be. So, please pray that if the Lord does want me to write him that he will help me through the emotions of it all. Thanks guys!
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